I walked to Hill Auditorium, trying to match my strides to the beat of “God’s Plan” by Drake pulsing in my ears through my headphones. It was too cold to take my hands and phone out my pocket, so instead I planned how to word the message I would send to the GroupMe once I arrived. I went through the options in my head:

“are u guys here?”: Nope. I’m trying not to use “you guys” to mean “you all” anymore, because I realized last year that it’s a needlessly gendered phrase that may harm women and trans folks.

“where y’all at”: Nope. Sounds like I’m appropriating Black Vernacular English (BVE). That would be microaggressive anti-blackness coming from me, a non-Black person of color, an East Asian American.

“hey i’m here, are u all inside?”: Perfect--consistent with my lowercase, improper messaging aesthetic, and most importantly, not causing harm to anyone of marginalized identities.

I was going to support my IGR (Intergroup Relations) dialogue co-facilitator Joy at her Women’s Glee concert with two other girls from our cohort, Kelly and Tala. Kelly and Tala are co-facilitators for the Educational Justice dialogue, and Joy and I facilitate Students of Color; the four of us met spontaneously for lunch right before spring break, and have become a supportive little group ever since. I’ve never been in a friend group that cares as much about intentional language as I do until this semester. It feels nice--I’m just sad I don’t have more time with them.

 

The three of us found an empty row to sit in behind some older White folks. Joy is one of maybe seven people of color in the Women’s Glee Club, and the audience reflected this dynamic.

 

“Did you all hear about the new Education for Empowerment minor? I’m so mad. That’s literally exactly what I want to do but of course they only come out with it the semester after I graduate,” said Tala, showing me the just-released flyer.

“I know! It’s so unfair. We live and breathe Educational Justice,” joked Kelly in her distinct scream-laugh.

“Minji, I feel like you would also enjoy this meme page. ‘Post Colonial Memes for Oriental Minded Teens’,” Tala shared. We laughed obnoxiously, recognizing the strangeness of three women of color joking casually about the colonizations of our homelands around a sea of White Michigan alumni who are just trying to hear some Italian choral singing. I felt dually light and sad in that moment--I finally found people to talk about nuanced social justice issues with, people that will go to protests with me and challenge me to be a better ally, but with so little time left to grow with them. I doubt I’ll be able to get as close to them in my remaining month of undergrad as I am with some of my other friends.

 

Becoming increasingly invested in IGR and the local social justice sphere over the past year, I’ve been thinking more critically about how and with whom I spend most of my time. I love my friends and family, and I appreciate the support and loyalty I’ve received from some people in my life over the past two, four, nine years. But I’ve also struggled with my friend groups. So much of my being and life is dedicated to intention and growth--have my communities been helpful in those pursuits?